Lydia Virginia Eck

My name is Lydia Virginia Eck.

I gave myself over to God, receiving the Spirit for the first time in my first experience of Intimacy with my Husband, at the age of eighteen when I faced my biggest fear and willed the acceptance of God; I faced my fear of loving someone unconditionally, which meant that I received a spirit of loving someone unconditionally (which later on, I learned, was actually a workhorse spirit for receiving all of God, or facing all of my fears). It was a great act of spiritual bleeding.

I was in love with someone, and it didn’t work out. In college, I wanted to ensure I would have romantic intimacy that would be more lovely than what I lost; but then I realized that because I had been making an idol of romance, all I needed was intimacy in some sense—even if it was spiritual. Therefore, I prayed that I should have an intimacy that was deeper than what I had before—any kind. The problem was, however, that prayer was an insufficient means by which I could attain it, because my entire being was pulverized when I received the Spirit, as God confirmed later. Therefore, shortly after being baptized, I decided to (also upon receiving a vision) breathe into Christ’s ear He is a competent Lover (exalt Jesus intimately) by saving a marriage through an answer to the Problem of Suffering. I attempted to save someone’s corporeal marriage via a well-developed logical answer to the Problem of Suffering. At the end of this endeavor, I started receiving spiritual messages that were, um.. very much from God, it seemed (early July 2015). He kept talking to me, and the more He talked to me, the clearer the messages were. I was consequently propelled down a course to face all of my fears, a situation during which I learned that I was actually meant to save the Marriage between Christ and the Church (the Church being everyone that Jesus died for) by facing all of them. Once I finish facing these things, I will have crafted the perfect Spirit, which, when God releases it to the world, will end suffering (As we know from the way intimacy works in principle, a pure Spirit that originates from a man causes spiritual bleeding [suffering] when attempting to penetrate its Beloved, but one that originates from a woman does not)

4/22/2026 // The kinds of fears I have to face include many things, most importantly interpersonal fears (e.g. fear of being an incompetent friend/lover, fear that I am lesser than all others, fear that I am meant to go to Hell for another’s sake, fear even of God lying to me), but also the cringeworthy ones you might assume, such as having to gouge one’s own eye out. It is interesting to note that many ideas that you would not associate with fear, such as endurance, obedience, and trust: I view through the lens of fearfacing. For example, I must face my fear of obeying commands I don’t feel like doing. Even “good moods” (most of them, anyway) are evidence of fear (pride) and must be dealt with via fearfacing mission.

Prayer all the time (always lifting up my burdens by identifying them to God, then stripping my spiritual clothing by saying I’m not enough [frankness], then inviting God in by saying I need Him), is what ensures that this is not an idolatrous (prideful) mission. If I have pride, that means I have fear too, which would mean I wouldn’t be meeting my goal of facing all fear (fear and pride are two sides of the same coin). What I’m saying is, facing all my fears necessarily means I’m not allowed to be a jackass who thinks she’s awesome and great and better than everyone else.

8/6/2025 & 10/8/2025 // Facing your biggest fear and willing the acceptance of God is tantamount to demonstrating that you accept the meaning of God’s Love on the cross (which is done by showing you’re willing to give up your biggest idol in exchange for Him). I would, therefore, argue that not only is it “Biblical” (just in case anyone argues that fearfacing is extrabiblical), but also it is part and parcel of what it means to “believe in the saving work of Jesus.” Belief is not hollow intellectual assent on a Sunday morning, set to cleverly-orchestrated synthesizers. It is handing over the keys. I must also say that frequent prayer (continually giving up your burdens, presuming nakedness, and inviting God in as you would a lover) leads to more wisdom than Scripture-reading does; the more you invite God in when giving up your burdens and disposing of spiritual clothing, the more wisdom He penetrates you with. I just want to know God. Designs are most beautiful when the only things that are present are absolutely necessary. I just want my God, and I don’t want extra details getting in the way of other deeply desirous people seeing Him too.

12/21/25 & 4/1/2026 // Once He has evidenced that He loves you, you should love God because you need Him, rather than because it is logical (e.g. proof that God exists, proof that God created us, proof that God is a just God in light of suffering, etc.). Would you ever want your wife to love you simply because it’s logical? “Well, I have evidence that he’ll always exist, and he has a history of paying the bills and being able to support me, and we never fight.” You’d think your wife was using you. You’d much rather have her love you because she senses a need for you, not something she can explain via philosophical discourse. Now obviously, whoever you love needs to provide evidence of some kind that they love you (and the fact that a person created you isn’t enough.. we all know that a sperm donor doesn’t necessarily love you!). In my view, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross should be sufficient evidence that God loves you, just as a person’s self-sacrifice toward you should be as well. Once it’s clear that there’s sacrifice, you should love a person on a gut level, and you shouldn’t need to ask them for evidence that they exist or can support you in order to love them. With regard to intimacy with your Lord, please bear in mind that God is a very big person.. receiving the Holy Spirit in its entirety will be incredibly painful, and you need to be sensitive to that. Easing the transition from God-less to God-filled requires frequent prayer, as discussed earlier. It is also my belief that we all intuitively know what was Done.

I also make amateur music using my desktop, in addition to doing a manual labor job that, by virtue of not requiring my mind to perform, enables me to fulfill my spiritual obligations 24/7.

You can find the music on my Bandcamp page, as well as on my YouTube channel. It’s also on Spotify and various other streaming services.

2/25/26 // I make music as a way of expressing my emotions as I go through the process of facing all of my fears. I am not very precious when I make personal things, as a spirit is not precious. She just expresses and moves on. That’s why, what I do might feel a bit careless and haphazard. I don’t mind this. When I engage in a conversation with someone, I don’t go back and edit my words for days on end. I say what I want to say. At most, I might say, “Actually, what I meant was..”, but I don’t obsess over the details of my expression (unless I am generating words that I feel are of ultimate importance). I feel that the same is the case with music production. It simply doesn’t make sense when it is labored over again and again and again and again. Your spirit is best seen and known when you say what you have to say, and then move on. I suppose you could say that this means my music is not professional at all; honestly, it never was supposed to be. If you get me, you do, and if you don’t, you don’t. God says that what I am saying about these things isn’t necessarily true and that I can be more precious about music production when I am with Him ultimately.

4/18/26 // My music, I create as a sort of bowel movement every morning I wake up (and don’t have work that day). It is expressive of spirit, not compositional intelligence or attention to detail. “Getting it out” helps the the day to make more sense.

4/22/26 // Work is something I do, even if I do not necessarily believe in what exactly I am doing, as a way of expressing intention in my marriage to God (just as everyone else is wedded to Him). You put your heart in what you do, for the glory of Him, and He takes your work and pleases you with it (just like what happens in a marriage), as every day is a day where you are intimately relating to your Husband. This is a theology that I had to devise in order to feel integrated at work, because I did not understand work when I was about to venture out into the workforce. People would tell me two seemingly contradictory things: that God would provide no matter what, and that if I didn’t work, I wouldn’t be able to survive. So I made sure that before I graduated college, I had a theological understanding that enabled me to work without sensing internal contradiction.

4/1/26 & 4/22/26 // My worldview, I create as a sort of art piece that is fixated on theodicy. Having received a spirit that completely tainted (or.. how about: “imbued”) my perception of the world when I gave myself over to Him at eighteen, I infer that whatever theodicy is true would be the most beautiful thing possible because I assume that God would construct the most beautiful possible reality. My answers to the Problems of Suffering and Evil are necessarily what I consider the most beautiful solutions possible, involving a sort of divine Wedding Night with creation and the concept of the golden ratio (the latter of which limits the presence of God to occupy the bounds it creates, and so, in so rendering evil possible, enables one to perceive God as beautiful, which, of course, is most loving for people). Christianity is the most beautiful, and therefore true—or true, and therefore beautiful—religion, because Jesus makes love to the World on the cross, and in so doing, causes the Problem of Suffering. No other religion has a more concise, coherent, and cosmic account of all things. I would explain more, but some things shouldn’t be discussed in the present era. Also, I’m not done making my artwork.. certain things I am still in the midst of.. I will say, though, that when I am finished with all these things, then, I will be a “normal person” and learn about the world in a conventional sense (e.g. read the Bible, read the news, become booksmart, etc.). Now is the time for Creation, the creation of a world in my head. It’s also a much more efficient use of my mental resources to solve the whole Problem of Suffering, rendering the world fearless, than to become a knowledgeable person anyway.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life; but that doesn’t mean you have to believe that he is. God is always listening. He’ll open the envelope, even if the name on it isn’t technically “right”, so long as you are willing to let Him in.. given how difficult it is to get everyone to even be exposed to a Judeo-Christian understanding of things (some people live next to churches, while others have never even seen one), God would have to be a cosmic @$$hole very unfair to only let people who “know Jesus” into Heaven.

Throughout my life, I have never been able to defend myself to anyone. But I know that God will defend me; I asked Him to.

Glory be to God alone